I am a pretty strange mix of two ethnicities living in a country it is completely unfamiliar with. I like to think that I would be a relatively normal functioning person had I been born and raised in a country with a warm climate. Probably not tbh. Probably end up having a terrible upbringing. Radicalized to join some christofascist militia and end up dead at 28. Poorer than I am now. Dumber than I am now. Thank God I'm Canadian!
I have no clue how much of my eccentricities and flaws are due to my genes not knowing where they are, but my parents having the kind of upbringing they had living in a country where you have immediate access to anything that rots your insides, it's quite clear that I was destined to be a fatass. My drive for food is really high. I need to eat a large volume of food to feel satiated and feel like a zombie if I had less than 1500 calories before 6pm. I will often open the fridge on impulse not for the sake of my stomach, but for the sake of my head. I eat faster than anyone I know. Most people in my family are fast eaters but me and my brother are like hippos. We're quite evenly matched me and him, but hes much bigger than I am, in weight and height.
All things considered, I'm not really "fat". Well, I'm certainly chubby. I got size. Volume. Cushion. Fur. Armor. Dad bod type shit. I'm kinda fat idk. I've always had size to me and so has everyone in my family. Yet of all my siblings I'm the smallest and it's been this way forever, not counting my ~2 year long looksmaxxing phase where I was skinny and smooth. Smoking as much weed as I did certainly didn't make it any better.
My genes love food. I consider myself a garbage disposal. I'm the type of guy that will eat anything if it's protein-dense or salty and crunchy. I'm like a starving pitbull the way I will salivate over a Costco chicken bake while I'm two white girl granola bowls down. I'm Canadian Peter Griffin with how much of a fatass I am. It's genuinely a miracle how I don't have a bmi of 30 (though I ain't that far from it).
Right now I'm probably the fattest I've been since the beginning of last year and the biggest reason why is becauase I haven't been cooking my own meals. When I cook for myself I am very conscious of what goes in my meal. I don't count my calories at all, I can't really be fucked to, but I'm never dousing my shit in vegetable oil or drinking bottles of ranch alongside my meals. My portions are controlled, I proritize lean meats, and I substitute oil for cancer causing non-stick spray which is 0 calories.
My (forgive me) bitch mother has been doing the cooking around here lately and she's the sort of Asian that doesn't know how calorically dense fats are. Oily, fatty meats ontop of simple carbs. Yum. It is. It's delicious. But holy fuck, Filipino food is terrible for you. Very little nutritional value in most popular dishes, which honestly can be said about most cultures, but at least white people aren't dumping half a cup of vegetable oil alongside their..... what do white people eat..??? Gruel? Ants on a log? My white classmates and coworkers were always eating some shit like that. Butter noodles and a cucumber on the side. At least theres a vegetable in there.
I love my mother, but good God her cooking is going to fucking kill me. She has been home much more often recently so she's been cooking more, but even when I do tell her the shit she's cooking will cut 30 years off my life she gives me shit for not eating her healthy dishes. But her healthy dishes consist of shit like ampalaya. Do me a favour and search up Filipino ampalaya and tell me that looks appetizing to you. It's disgusting and it tastes far worse than it looks. I don't know how the fuck she eats it, but that's like the only healthy thing she cooks.
Alright, heres my strategy. She is never gonna leave the kitchen and there's honestly nothing I can do about it. If I cook she complains that theres already food. There's no winning with her. So I'm just gonna let her do her thing. But here is where my plan to at the very least stop my weight gain while I sit at home until I start my classes. Her cooking will serve as ingredients in other dishes
We always have a ton of bread. Different kinds too. The triangle bread from Costco. Nobody eats that shit except me. Pita bread. Hella. Nobody eats it but me. Wonder bread. Again, I'm the only one. What's the point of buying all this stuff is nobody is gonna eat it? Anyways, doesn't matter. Big ass oily pork adobo? Put it in the triangle bread with some greens. Deep fried fish? Pita bread with boiled potatoes and sour cream (Pretty Yummy!). Oily ass noodles? Half a normal portion and like 2 boiled eggs on the side. This may not sound like much, but this normally cuts at least 200 calories off what would otherwise be a 800 calorie meal. 3 of those in a day, that's 1800 calories. I get up to 400 more calories for nuts and mandarins and dates. Yum!
I'm going back to the gym. No reason why I shouldn't be going. I stopped going a few months back cause I was broke, but I've been stableish for more than a month. I can afford going back to the gym. Let's recoupe my gains and build some Chris Redfield arms to Breaking Benjamin and Linkin Park like I should be doing.
The working out portion is of least importance though. You may call me a fatass for this, but let's see what happens when you eat 3000 calories worth of junk while benching 315lbs while maintining a good physique. Nah, I'll just do ok in jim and put all focus on diet. If you're one of those people who is hyperfocused on the hour long workouts instead of the 14-18 hour dieting, you are wasting your time. Unless you just like lifting heavy shit and don't care at all about your figure. If that's the case, then power to you brother fatass. You have my respect.
For as much of a fatass as I am, it's laughably easy losing weight. If you have the cognitive ability to do something as simple as replace an ingredient for a lower calorie one while walking an extra 30 minutes a day, you will notice gradual changes in your weight, and all you had to do was cut like 300 calories away per day, which is not noticable at all.
Alright, now allow me to contradict myself. I'm gonna keep myself kinda fat, at least for a while. For a few reasons. Number one, I like being a fatass. It's in my blood. I like eating and stuffing my face. Food is yummy. Fuck being lean. Let's dig in before someone else does.
Number two, strength. Ok I know I said I'm not gonna care too much about the gym, but I like being strong. I also like being visually strong, and that's hard to do when you're lean. Unless you take your shirt off, you just look like any other skinny dude and you just end up getting body dysmorphia. Yeah fuck that. Being visually strong grants you so many social privileges it's insane, and if you're above 6ft that's even better. You get a free ticket to be an asshole. The most confident I ever felt is when I was buff with a high body fat percentage. I need that back.
Number three, my GF says that if I become skinny I become boring, which I agree with 100%. Fit guys are boring as fuck and will make you eat cardboard on every date you go on. Nobody does ED like gymbros. I don't wanna be a faggot with an eating disorder. Food is awesome.
Other Stuff + Semen Log
Yesterday I installed Artix on my main pc. Fuck Windows. But now I can't edit. I think I'll just make a Windows partition to dual boot into whenever I need to edit something. Sounds easy enough.
Look at my Kawaii Linux Desktop!!!
Ok, nut log. Consistency is much better, and noticalby sweeter? Not by much, but there are sweeter notes that I did not notice before. I'd say this is good. I kinda smoked last night cause I was thirsting for it so I'm not sure if that made an effect on my seed or not but it was the only thing I smoked since my last post so I think it's fine to overlook that. I've had enough semen drinking, I'll maintain this as much as I can. I bought a ton of peaches today!