From living my day-to-day shut in schizoid life, I have managed to by luck alone find myself in a relationship with a vagina having female. Meaning I am now sexually active, at least by my own standards.
I live a very pathetic life. I do not care at all about my health and will put pretty much anything into it if it means I can derive pleasure. I smoke regularly and don't eat a very balanced diet. While I workout sometimes, the rest of my days is spent living a sedentary lifestyle. I am often stressed out due to simply existing. I don't consume a lot of red meat and I drink plenty of water, but for the most part, my health is poor.
If you live the kind of life I live then the possibility of engaging in any kind of sexual activity let alone spreading your seed is something you don't see happening any time soon. Needless to say, I wasn't surprised to find out my semen doesn't taste good.
Tasting my own semen is not something I do, so the thought of my semen tasting bad was not something which crossed my mind. Apologies to the girl(s) reading this.
I don't think it's fair to do that to my partner so I'm gonna start making some changes with my lifestyle. And to think, all it took me was a little bit of pussy to make me give a shit about being healthy.
Anyways, today I'm going to drink my cum. I'm gonna fap into a wine glass or something to that effect and drink it up. I will be assessing it's taste, texture and consistency. Taking sips and swishing it around in my mouth like a wine taster.
I'll be doing this every 3 days to assess it's changes. Today is Friday, March 20 2026, I will be drinking my cum again on the 23'rd. When it is the 23rd, and the 26th, and perhaps the 29th, know that I will be taking my own sperm at some point during the evening.
So let's get into it.
Today I am going to see how it tastes without me making any lifestyle changes. I said everything in the second paragraph, I think you get the deal. So how does it taste?
It's watery I can't lie. There's viscosity to it but the taste is noticeably watery. It sorta runs off the back of a spoon like a gravy. Yeah it's not very visually attractive. Drinking it kinda feels like when you finished a drink but there's still a little tiny bit inside the bottle so you pour it over your mouth and get this really thin layer of your drink coating your tongue. I think what affects the taste of this is more visual, because due to the consistency of my sperm it makes it easy to get down, at least in my opinion. However based on it's looks it's pretty obvious I have a lower than average sperm count. Not surprising since I haven't been working out and been eating like shit and smoking like a chimney. Simply looking at it makes me not want to drink it. I turned my lights off and by the time I did that the semen was cold. I revolted to the feeling of my cold semen touching my lips, so that affected the review heavily, but I will say, without it's visual presence it is easier to I guess "prepare" to consume it. The coldness killed it for me, but I was able to get this down like a shot of alcohol.
It's not bitter, but it is salty. I was really expecting it to be bitter but it's really just salty. However, there is a slight "meatiness" to it. Kind of like taking a sip of chicken broth. It's not very strong but it does cling to the back of your throat for a bit. As for me, I don't find it hard to power through but I imagine it's too much for other people. Since it's my cum that I'm drinking, it's probably far easier for me to get it down than anyone else. Not to mention, my mouth is a garbage disposal, I can eat a lot of stuff without difficulty. This shit probably does some serious psychological damage to other people. It's not that salty tbh my gf is overreacting.
Yeah, it's pretty rancid, but it's mostly visual imo. I don't think I should put anyone up to this kind of torture. But anyways let's talk about what I'm going to do to make it not disgusting without becoming miserable.
Most things usually tie back to your diet so I'm going to start there. I eat a lot of protein and carbs, but not nearly enough fruits and vegetables. Most of my meals are built like 50% carbs 45% protein and 5% of veg/fruit. Normally rice, bread, potatoes, chicken, eggs, and deli meats. I do have the occasional pear, mandarin, banana and spinach on my sandwich but the rest of the veg I eat serves as ingredients in other food that mostly consists of carbs. I like to have raw onions with my breakfast. I also eat a lot of junk, mainly salty snacks. I love chips. I love being a fatass and putting chips on my sandwich like an Englishman. I like making fried rice, so soy sauce plays a regular role in my life. I use it as a dipping sauce too. I put mayo in my sandwiches. I drink 2 cups of coffee a day. I like dates.
Anyways this isn't the worst diet ever. It could definitely be worse, but it's still poor. I have bad self-control. This stuff is hard when your genes love yummy food y'know...
I gotta cut a lot of the salty stuff out of my diet and eat more fruits and veg, primarily foods high in Vitamin C and zinc. I'm not gonna start eating whole sticks of carrots like a certain cartoon character or make gay ass salads, but I am going to cut the shitty stuff out. No snackaroonies, less carbs, more pears and spinach and dates and start adding parsley to my breakfast again. I used to make these breakfast pita wraps that had fried eggs, roasted potatoes, fried turkey breast with ketchup and I once put parsley in there and thought it tasted good + it's healthy ig so I just kept doing it. I'll start making those again since I read that parsley has deodorizing effect on semen. And just because it's so cheap and easy to do, I'll take a daily multivitamin along with my breakfast which I for some reason haven't been doing.
I think what's doing the most damage to me is smoking. I smoke daily. Not an alarming amount, but a decent amount for a long period of time which has obviously affected my sperm count. I smoke no more than 3 cigarettes a day, though I will often go long periods without smoking a cigarette. I've never found myself having a problem with nicotine dependency so it's one of the drugs I can control. I also smoke weed. Not as much as I used to, but I tend to depend on that more which is unfortunate since weed is probably the gayest drug you could be addicted to, but I bong it up quite a bit. I've been meaning to quit for a while now so I only smoke twice a day, which is still too much, but I'm pretty much on the track of quitting weed entirely so I wont worry about it right now. Slow changes.
I'm going to keep these 3 days dedicated to my diet and enjoy my smoking for a little bit more before I decide to cut it out entirely. I'll try to keep myself from hitting my 3 per day limit but I'm probably not gonna think about it at all. Yeah I'm just not gonna think about it.
Due to my current life circumstances I'm just going to be moving more by default. Not by much but I'm not gonna start doing some workout routine. Actually I'm gonna stop working out and going on walks entirely to kind of balance things out a bit.
Starting today..... I pigged out..... Okay I kind of ruined today I'm not gonna lie, I didn't really remember to do this until noon I was just hungover and stressed. I'm not getting into it. If you know, you know. But that was only the morning. For lunch I balanced things out a bit by having soft boiled eggs, boiled potatoes and parsley. Nothin but salt. Was pretty good actually.
I managed to resist snacking, so when dinner came around I went out and got a banh mi. Got Vietnamese cold cuts, pickled carrots, cilantro, cucumber and some like pate spread thing. Super yummy, they are like 10 inches long and the spot I get them at sell them for $5. Super good and I think it's kinda healthy. Before bed I'm just gonna have a pear.
Nothing crazy but we will see what happens in 3 days.